I recently heard one of my favorite bloggers, Carrie Cariello, use the word “untethering.” My breath caught in that moment, and I realized it was exactly the word I had been searching for.
Lately, it feels like one of the hardest things I have had to do. It is emotional and full of pride for my child at the same time. It lives at the heart of parenting and advocacy, where love, fear, hope, and uncertainty all exist together.
Untethering.
Intentionally encouraging our Autistic children to spread their wings is incredibly difficult. For many of us, their entire lives have been built around learning how to speak, how to understand, and how to learn in ways that fit expectations. These systems were created with love and intention. They were built to keep our children safe, supported, and understood.
And time and time again, their strengths and capabilities shine through.
This is true for our children across every level of Autism, whether they have low, moderate, or high support needs. Too often, assumptions are made about what our kids can or cannot do. The truth is that our children are never done growing and learning. Growth may look different. It may move at a different pace. It may require different supports. But it is always happening.
As a parent of an Autistic teen, I feel this deeply. I have spent years advocating, protecting, anticipating needs, and doing everything I can to guide my child. Letting go, even just a little, can feel overwhelming. Sometimes untethering means stepping back. Sometimes it means allowing discomfort. I find that it means trusting that God is present in both our fears and our children’s growth.
Untethering looks different at every age and stage of Autism. For some families, it begins in early childhood by allowing independence in communication or play. For others, it comes during the tween and teen years, when social relationships, identity, and self-advocacy take center stage. For many, it continues well into adulthood as Autistic individuals navigate employment, relationships, and community life.
At every support level, untethering asks the same question of parents: How do we protect our children while still allowing them to grow?
Making mistakes is part of learning. It is how all of us grow. Our Autistic children and young adults, regardless of support needs, deserve opportunities to try, to struggle, to succeed, and to discover what they are capable of while knowing they are loved and supported.
Untethering.
I love this word, even though it is not easy for me to do.
I have to remind myself that untethering does not mean removing support. It means redefining it. It means shifting from doing for our children to walking beside them, guiding them with faith and trusting in their abilities, even when they can’t see it.
At the Autism Society of the Mahoning Valley, we are committed to walking alongside families through every age, every stage, and every level of Autism. We support independence while remaining a steady, reliable presence. Because untethering, when done with care, is not about letting go completely. It is about creating space for growth, dignity, and possibility.
With understanding and hope,
Jodi Glass
Executive Director